What Aragorn Found That He Truly Hated
by LongbowArcher10
Summary: Aragorn takes a nice stroll through the woods of Lothlorien to meet the Lord and Lady. He finds an extremely obnoxious crazy young girl and the Lady Galadriel wants Aragorn to take care of her! They go through many hardships together.


Chapter 1: The Stranger in Middle-Earth Disclaimer: sigh You know, Tolkien has incredible works, and uh, I just simply don't have the brains to compare any of my writing to him..you get the idea. I own absolutely nothing. Except for me, but then again, I don't even own myself. Okay, I own nothing. Fine. A/N: Hey guys! I'm a honey roasted peanut! Okay, that had nothing to do with the subject, so I hope you enjoy my story! And don't even say this is a Mary-Sue because I really don't know what it is. My sister tried to tell me, but it wouldn't get into my brain. This story isn't really based on my life, but close enough. ANOTHER NOTE/WARNING: THIS ENTIRE STORY GOES OFF TOPIC! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE HUMOROUS FANFICS.  
  
Ninui was a small human from a wild town in Middle-Earth and happened to stumble into the forests of Lothlorien. After a while, sleep came over her.  
  
Ninui heard a low voice singing to himself in Elvish.  
  
Opening her eyes, she saw that she was in a dense lush forest, and because of her strange past, she knew a bit of Quenya and Sindarin.  
  
A mid-evil looking man was staring at Ninui's face and she forgot everything that had happened before her arrival.  
  
"Who're you? And I liked the pretty song you sang. It made me go to sleep! Just like a little baby," Ninui asked in an annoying tone.  
  
The man looked confused, "My name is Aragorn, one of the Dunedain."  
  
Ninui looked at him, "Okay, nice joke, so, am I dead or what?"  
  
'Obviously not.'  
  
Ninui smiled and looked at Aragorn, as she thought, to see his face in amusement.  
  
"What's so funny?" She asked as he looked at her.  
  
He shook his head and walked away.  
  
Ninui ran after him, "So, Mr. So called Aragorn, are you going to tell me where I am?"  
  
Aragorn looked at her in surprise, "You really don't know now, young one? We are in the forest of Lothlorien."  
  
"Does that mean Haldir's going to think we're filthy strangers and kill us?" She asked.  
  
Ninui had heard about the harsh and cruel March Warden of Lothlorien.  
  
Aragorn shook his head again, "He knows who I am..."  
  
"But he doesn't know me," she added on, "And he could shoot me for being an imposter."  
  
Aragorn sighed and continued to walk on, after a while, her feet began to hurt, "Um..Mr. Aragorn? I'm tired!"  
  
He muttered under his breath about his misfortune in being stuck with an ignorant little girl. They walked past many trees, which all looked the same to Ninui.  
  
Aragorn grabbed Ninui's hand and literally dragged her to a beautiful clearing of trees.  
  
There was a shining light as Aragorn and Ninui approached the Golden Lady and Lord of Lothlorien, "The shiny things are too bright for my eyes," she whispered to Aragorn.  
  
He covered her mouth and bowed towards Celeborn and Galadriel.  
  
Ninui followed suit, not knowing what to do or say.  
  
"Mae Govannen, Aragorn, Son of Arathorn," Lady Galadriel said in that deep rich voice.  
  
Ninui gagged out loud and everyone looked at her funny, 'How can you sound so deep?' She thought as they resumed to their 'ever-so-polite' conversation.  
  
Aragorn and the Lady Galadriel talked in Elvish about her. She knew probably one word out of every sentence.  
  
Finally, in English, Lady Galadriel said, "Aragorn will take you."  
  
Ninui gulped, thinking about her death already, "Okay...Hantale..." (I think everyone knows what this is, but just in case, thanks)  
  
He dragged her away from them and bid them farewell.  
  
Ninui watched as his expression turned into annoyance, "What're you going to do? Murder me in the deepest darkest part of the woods?"  
  
He sighed and continued to drag her through the woods. They were in a shady part, where the trees could barely touch the forest floor.  
  
At the edge however, which she was hoping and wishing that they weren't going to get caught by Haldir, he just 'happened' to see two figures moving along in the trees.  
  
His men gathered around them, pointing their arrows at Ninui, but especially Aragorn, since he was the taller one. "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD I TELL YOU-" Ninui blurted out and then quieted down when she saw his strange look.  
  
Haldir looked strangely at her and then at Aragorn, "Aragorn, we did not recognize you."  
  
He bowed, "Sorry for this rude greeting."  
  
Ninui mimicked his bow and Aragorn sharply held her in place with his hand.  
  
That was the signal for Ninui to be quiet.  
  
They carried on their conversation and then Aragorn and Ninui moved away from the forest towards another forest, and another.  
  
Ninui was dying and Aragorn seemed as if everything in the world was okay, "How can you walk so fast?" she said, gasping for air, "Slow down."  
  
He came to a stop as she dragged herself forward, "Is it time to rest?"  
  
"Not yet," was his answer.  
  
It took them 8 days to get to Gondor. Eight days of deadness and starvation. Throughout those eight days, Ninui complained whenever she could to annoy Aragorn even more. Torture was a clear example of those eight days to Aragorn, who absolutely loathed the girl by now. He had dragged her the whole way towards Gondor.  
  
They were in the great banquet hall. Everyone rejoiced as Aragorn came strolling forward, but a silence came through as they saw the small girl rushing behind him.  
  
"Are they going to murder me?" Ninui asked quietly.  
  
Aragorn covered her mouth and smiled at the guests.  
  
They came upon a great table filled with plenty of food.  
  
Ninui stared at a piece of chicken, "I'm gonna eat you chicken! I'm gonna eat you! I'm going to eat you!"  
  
Aragorn grabbed the chicken away from Ninui as she bid her chicken a sad farewell.  
  
The King of Gondor, also known as Aragorn, made an enormously long speech.  
  
Ninui quickly grabbed a piece of chicken from another place and nibbled on it.  
  
As he was finishing his speech, Ninui tugged on his shirt, "Can I have some more chicken?"  
  
Aragorn paused and stared at her in disbelief, "No."  
  
Katie sat back down and grabbed another piece anyway.  
  
Aragorn was at the last sentence just when Ninui sang out, "CHICKEN CHICKEN! MY OWN CHICKEN! I'M GONNA EAT YOU! NICE AND CLEAN! CHICKEN CHICKEN! YOU'RE DEAD MEAT! YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN MY STOMACH! DAY BY DAY I MUNCH AND CRUSH YOU..."  
  
Ninui noticed Aragorn's death stare and she quieted down.  
  
As he finished he sat down and rubbed his temples, clearly annoyed.  
  
Ninui stuffed her face with chicken, "Hey, you know what?" She asked as pieces of chicken went flying from her mouth, "My name means watery!"  
  
She took another bite from the chicken and drank juice from the goblet greedily.  
  
Aragorn looked at her, "I suppose Ninui is an absolutely perfect name for you, since your brain is extremely watery."  
  
He didn't eat anything during the whole feast, while Ninui stuffed her face.  
  
Arwen looked worriedly at Aragorn, "Who is this strange wild girl you bring with us? The city of Gondor will be in destruction if we don't rid of her."  
  
Aragorn sat, staring at his place, "I promised the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien-"  
  
"Yeah, and you know what? That Lady had an amazingly deep voice. It was like..uhhhhh..uhhhh..."  
  
Aragorn covered her mouth once more as she tried to sound like Galadriel.  
  
He withdrew his hand to find that it was covered with drool, "Ninui..."  
  
Ninui took a bite of her chicken, "It's not my fault I drool!"  
  
Aragorn shook his head.  
  
The feast was soon over and the guests emptied out of the hall one by one.  
  
Ninui jumped up and down, "I'm a bunny! Bunny bunny bunny! Bunny bunny bunny!"  
  
She continued to jump up and down until Aragorn planted her firmly on the ground.  
  
Ninui pouted and then looked at the stairway, "Ooooooooooooooooo..."  
  
She ran up the stairs and had her bottom on the stair rail.  
  
"WATCH OUT BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMBER ME SHIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Ninui came crashing down on the floor.  
  
Aragorn rushed over to the girl, concerned.  
  
He picked her up and found that she was laughing, "HAHAHAHAHA! YOU SHOULD TRY THAT SOMETIME MR. ARAGORN! IT WAS LIKE......BEING A CUCUMBER!"  
  
Aragorn stared at her with confusion and let her down.  
  
"I guess it's bedtime," Arwen said, breaking the silence.  
  
"Can I have chicken for midnight snacks?" Ninui asked.  
  
"NO."  
  
"Will you read me bed time stories?"  
  
"NO."  
  
"Are you going to die?"  
  
"YES-NO, what...?"  
  
He turned towards her, "You have more of a melted brain than a watery one."  
  
"Well, that's good news, isn't it?" Ninui had a smile on her face.  
  
They walked through many halls and chambers; up many stairs, and then they came to an enormous room, filled with all silk bed sheets and many other fine things.  
  
"I chew on the blankets, so you might find drool on them the next morning, "Ninui said as she sniffed the floor.  
  
"Why are you searching the floor? Your bed is up there dear," Arwen said to her.  
  
Ninui nodded, "I'm not blind, but if you are, then I will help you! Oh, I'm sniffing the floor for any sign of food."  
  
Arwen was rather shocked at her respond and left immediately.  
  
Ninui poked a very expensive looking china plate towards the edge, "I wonder what'll happen if-"  
  
CRASH!  
  
Aragorn shook his head.  
  
Ninui jumped in glee, "That was a beautiful sound, wasn't it?"  
  
"I wanna sing now? The songs that you sang when you first found me!"  
  
She tried singing, "LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! LEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"  
  
A wine glass that was on her bedside table broke.  
  
"Oooo...goody goody!"  
  
Ninui clapped her hands.  
  
Aragorn picked her up and put her into the enormous bed, "Good night."  
  
He turned and walked through the doorway, "DON'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONE! THE DARKNESS IS GOING TO SWALLOW ME! LIKE HOW A CUCUMBER SWALLOWS A WORMS!"  
  
Aragorn walked back in, "You'll be fine, just don't think of worms and cucumbers, okay?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
At about three in the morning Ninui felt hungry.  
  
She woke up, "CHICKEN! Oh..I have to be quiet...or the meany poo will eat me alive."  
  
Ninui snuck out of her room towards the kitchen, or where she thought that would be.  
  
Instead, she saw Aragorn and Arwen lying in bed, sleeping soundly.  
  
Ninui ran and belly-flopped onto their bed.  
  
"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!" Ninui said jokingly.  
  
Arwen sat up, "When? Who? Wher-"  
  
She paused as she saw Ninui.  
  
"I want chicken!"  
  
Arwen stared at her, "You woke me up for chicken?"  
  
"Yeah! Chicken's good! MAKE ME CHICKEN!!!! CHICKEN CHICKEN! I MUNCH ON YOU, THE JUICY THING, LA LA LAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! CHICKEN YOU ARE MY LOVE LOVE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! "  
  
Arwen covered her mouth, "You're going to wake up Aragorn."  
  
Arwen let go of her, "Oh, let's wake him up! Maybe he'll be extra cranky and kill me!"  
  
She laughed at the thought.  
  
Arwen dragged Ninui to the kitchens.  
  
Out of their cupboards, she grabbed a piece of chicken the servants had saved from the day before.  
  
One of the cooks had a dog, and it had been sleeping soundly on the ground.  
  
Ninui noticed the dog.  
  
She went down on all fours and walked towards it.  
  
The dog stood up and stared at her.  
  
"SNARFLE ! SNIFF SNIFF! CUCKOO CUCKOO! BWA BWA BWA BWA! NEIGH NEIGH NEIGH!"  
  
The dog growled at her, "Good doggy!" Ninui exclaimed as she pet his head.  
  
It tried to bite her hand, "Oh look! It's trying to eat me alive! Isn't that nice?"  
  
She patted it's head and ran back to the place of chicken.  
  
"THANKS FOR THE CHICKEN!"  
  
Ninui sat down at the table and looked at.  
  
First she picked out the small pieces and dumped the whole thing into her mouth.  
  
Since it was too big, she spit the whole thing back out.  
  
Arwen came near the table as Ninui did this.  
  
She started to lick the chicken like a dog and then at it in doggish manner.  
  
Ninui threw the chicken out the window.  
  
"What're you doing?" Arwen cried in disbelief.  
  
"I wanna see chickens fly! I mean, they have wings, but all they do is eat! So I made it fly! Go chicken go chicken!"  
  
The chicken was stuck on a part of their roof, "Look! It's moving!"  
  
The wind picked up and made the chicken fly onto the Gondorian flag.  
  
"Now the chicken can be part of our community. It will keep us safe."  
  
She smiled and sat back down, "I think I'm done now."  
  
Ninui hadn't eaten a piece of her chicken.  
  
"I'm quite full."  
  
She stood up and walked out of the kitchen.  
  
Ninui turned the corner and saw Aragorn.  
  
"GUESS WHAT I SAW ARAGORN?"  
  
"What?" He asked groggily.  
  
"I SAW A CHICKEN FLY!"  
  
Aragorn woke up, "Really now? Interesting..."  
  
He looked out the window and saw a piece of chicken stuck on the flag.  
  
His eyes widened and he looked at Arwen who shrugged her shoulders.  
  
Ninui skipped around the couple, "YOU GUYS ARE OBSESSIVE ABOUT EACH OTHER! YOU SLEEP WITH EACH OTHER AND YOU EVEN KISS EACH OTHER!"  
  
She grabbed some flower petals from a few flowers that had been standing in a pot near the window.  
  
"So now that you love each other, you can smoochy and kissy whenever you want!"  
  
Ninui threw the flower petals over the married couple, "Here comes the bride! All nice and fat! Here she comes with a beautiful chicken! Here comes the bride! Carrying some cash! All we want is to you to have the-"  
  
Aragorn covered his mouth around hers.  
  
Ninui bit his fingers and he let go immediately.  
  
"What was that?" He asked her.  
  
"I dunno. My teeth, I guess."  
  
He groaned and Arwen told him to sit down.  
  
Aragorn sat down at a table, massaging his temples and with Arwen massaging his back.  
  
"Hey Aragorn! Guess what?" Ninui called out to them from her seat.  
  
"We're right next to each other, you don't need to shout right in front of my ear," he said, trying to be patient.  
  
"Well, you're to far. But anyway, guess what?"  
  
"What?" He asked, clearly annoyed.  
  
"CHICKEN BUTT!"  
  
Ninui rolled off her chair onto the floor.  
  
"Do you eat chicken butts?"  
  
She stopped laughing and sat next to him.  
  
Aragorn muttered something about small annoying girls and Ninui heard him.  
  
"Yeah, I know, those little girls are such pests at times," Ninui said in agreement.  
  
Aragorn stared at her, his eyes in pure annoyance, "Yes, especially the one sitting next to me."  
  
"How rude Aragorn! Your own wife it not a little girl and she is not a pest!"  
  
Aragorn groaned and buried his head in his hands.  
  
"I want chicken."  
  
Ninui said.  
  
Arwen shoved the plate towards her.  
  
"I'm full."  
  
Arwen left the plate where it was.  
  
Ninui started to chew on Aragorn's armor.  
  
"What in the Valar's name are you doing?" He cried out to her.  
  
Ninui shrugged, "I thought that clunky stuff you wore looked real good."  
  
"Jeez, what's the matter with you? You look as if it isn't normal eating metal at all."  
  
She looked behind him and saw a large bent stick with a string on it.  
  
Before Aragorn could do anything, she grabbed the bow and started whacking Aragorn on the head with it.  
  
"This is fun!" Ninui said.  
  
Aragorn grabbed his bow, and Ninui pulled it back, "I wanna play with it more!"  
  
She put her foot on the wood end and pulled the string as hard as she could.  
  
As Ninui pulled harder up, the string broke.  
  
Aragorn looked at his broken bow, "Ninui..."  
  
She looked at him, "What? What did I do?"  
  
Ninui looked at him curiously.  
  
Aragorn resisted the temptation to whack her on the head and quietly grabbed his bow back.  
  
"Jeez, you could've just asked for the stick thing, there's no need to be hasty."  
  
Aragorn sighed.  
  
"Can you teach me how to the use the stick?"  
  
"Bow, Ninui, bow," Aragorn said, "And yes, first thing in the afternoon."  
  
"Okay!"  
  
Ninui skipped out of the kitchen and to her room. 


End file.
